And hopefully day 1 of her healing.
Today is a month since he left her.
Left her on a small conversation after he could not hold on to his anger.
Anger because he just cannot accept her even saying a word or having a discussion.
Played all games in between while he was around but moved out. Left her messages and a letter which looks lovely from top but has blame again.
Switch off his phones and replies when he wants to. She sits alone and wonders if he actually ever loved her?
This 1 month had been a roller coaster for her – she has tried to be strong but then becomes weak as she doesn’t know where she stands. Or maybe she does know where she stands but is scared to take that step.
Take that step one more time with the same guy.
Walk the same steps as she had to almost 3 years back. Also she fears as she has always been by her side – sometimes she goes on her messages and feels she doesn’t know this person.
Was she actually in love with an illusion?
An illusion what she believed was true love! An illusion that he will start having normal converstions with her! An illusion that he won’t control her! An illusion that he will love her and accept her as she is!
Is it that difficult for her to accept her illusion she asks?
She is angry but doesn’t want to hurt him. Is it however ok for him to hurt her like this always !
She asks and this day will pass.
Today has been the first day after her therapy session after a long time and although she seems relieved she is filled with all these questions.
Was she becoming ready to break that promise?
Was she preparing herself to walk that path once again?
She just doesn’t see herself away from him. She has grown up with him and been together for almost 15 years. She doesn’t know how to do this but she is trying…
1 month of him walking out when he says that he loves her – will this be day 1 of her healing?