She woke up ok today but how long will this go she wondered.
As usual the first thing she did was go on his number. And starred at it for few minutes. Was still distant to her. She has purposely deleted the name, as it affects her mind.
During her lunch – she all of a sudden went into a flashback and saw the times which were ok with him. She scrolled through her phone and realised how she had been coping up and was the only person holding on to this relationship.
She got stuck as to what if he considered her equal and how they could be happy. She had to be snapped out by a colleague. Tears were just there on the eyelashes but none fell.
She felt anxious but snapped her self out.
She went for excersise after a few days. She realised how much of her strength and stamina is lost.
It was a struggle to go through the session but her instructor is good and adjusted accordingly.
She was just happy she made it there..
She went on his number again and feel lost today. But she is holding on.
She thinks about him almost every minute or with each breath she takes. She just hopes he is fine and happy where ever he is.
She is holding on or letting go. Still doesn’t know. Every thing seems foggy even though everything was clear.
She thinks what if he comes back like last time, what will she do ? Will she cry and hug him or will she walk past as a stranger?
The latter will kill her but will she have the strength to do it.